The Secret Life of Konan
by HornyWolf
Summary: Midnight was upon her, as it always seemed to be, once her Akatsuki work was put to rest after a tiresome and uneventful day. She remained lost in her memories once sunset had fallen and only the starlit sky. Her lips curled into a smile. His voice low and rather kind, he pulled back the covers, patted the spot beside him and whispered "Am I sorrow or regret?" ItachiXKonan One-Shot


Midnight was upon her, as it always seemed to be, once her Akatsuki work was put to rest after a tiresome and uneventful day. She remained lost in her memories once sunset had fallen and only the starlit sky could awaken her soul from its subconscious slumber. Konan pulled on her Akatsuki robe and eyed herself in her modest sized mirror that humbly dressed the simple walls of her room. She looked as marvelous and elegant as ever, her delicate skin matched that of porcelain doll in both preciousness and refinement. Her lips remained as solemn as ever and her eyes bore their painted seriousness that covered her true emotions. Yet beneath those same grey-moonlight eyes, she harbored the same hidden sorrow that had plagued her since she was a young woman.

She glanced down at her pale pink lipstick that lay across from her on her fragile table that sat just to the side of the mirror. Her lips tightened for a moment before she returned them to their natural form and began to paint them. Gracefully, she inspected her work before carefully whipping away any smears that had stained her labret piercing.

It had been so many years since she lost the love of her life and each night was merely a reminder of that cruel, rain splattered day. She no longer had him by her side at night. His arms would no longer hold her, nor would his lips kiss her. His ocean deep blue eyes would never look into hers again, yet what pained her most was that she would never be able to tell him she loved him just one more time.

Konan gave herself one final inspection. She was not all dressed up but it's not like he cared or minded. With her last check done she tore herself away from her mirror and, removing her Akatsuki cloak, wrapped herself in her black silk cloak. It was the last gift _he_ gave her before his death, other than his love of course. It remained as soft and prefect as the day he had given it to her on her twenty-third birthday. Normally she would not wear his last memento to her for such a casual routine but tonight it somehow felt appropriate. After all, tonight was the anniversary of the last time they had made love.

_It was the night before he left the mortal world. He had crept out into the forest, purposely knowing she would be there waiting for the flowers to bloom with the moonlight. Only fate knew that it was to be the last night that she would know happiness and contentment, as well as the last time she would feel whole. Their night of youthful passion on a bed of flowers was one of the best memories of her life, not because they made love, but because she knew that on that night, her heart would forever belong to him, her beloved Yahiko._

It was Tuesday night, Itachi's night. Konan walked slowly down the halls of the hideout she now called home. She felt oddly young again, not that she was an old maid or anything. In fact this conflict about her age was one that had often been used as a topic of discussion amongst the male members of Akatsuki.

Deidara was probably the one to show his interest in this topic the most. Still just a teen when he first saw her, Deidara wondered if she qualified as a cougar or just a more mature lady. Having obviously found her quite flattering, he had asked most of the other members if they knew her true age. His partner had been quite useless having only told him that "She is younger than me but my looks are younger than hers." Not very useful, but rather vain and possibly sarcastic information from the emotionless puppeteer.

Itachi on the other hand, made no comment to this discussion while Kakuzu and Kisame spent a whole night, along with a couple kegs of beer, trying to find an answer. By morning the two had come to an estimate. "No younger than twenty-seven but no older than thirty-five." Kisame mused as he finished his last mug of his sweet liquor. Later when Hidan and Tobi joined Akatsuki, Hidan merely called her "A damn fine piece of fuck he'd love to screw."

Tobi was, for more than obvious reasons, left out of the questioning along with Zetzu.

Finally deciding that she probably qualified more as a puma instead of a cougar, Deidara dropped the age investigation and started to work his charm while all the other members could only laugh at his foolishness.

Blinking her eyes, Konan's mind returned to her from its flashback.

The sheer smoothness of the black silk that hung tightly to her curves reminded her of many years past; back when Akatsuki was still young and still housed in the cozy one roomed fort that she had been raised in by Jiraiya.

It was an odd feeling really. After her love died, she felt as if she had grown into an old woman once she had ceased her mourning period. Her body felt rough and loose, her hair stiff and submissive, and her limbs weak. She never recovered her appetite after that either, causing her body to slim from a loss of muscle mass. Sickness plagued her for a while too, another side effect from losing her love. For a while she felt as if she truly did want to die. It was only thanks to a few words from Nagato that she even found the will to leave her futon.

"Yahiko shouldn't have to see you in this state from above. He wouldn't want you to spend the rest of your days as a member of the living dead. Don't make the very reason he gave his life, protecting you, to be in vain."

Those words still echo in her head even till this day.

She gave a low sigh to herself as she stood in front of Itachi's door. This reminder of her youth was like a reunion with a long lost sibling. Sweet but filled with the gaps of time that separated them.

Knocking lightly on the door two times, she tried to push away the ringing of Nagato's words in her ears.

The door slowly opened, revealing the eldest Uchiha brother. Wearing only his pants and a towel around his neck, he appeared to have just left the shower, though his hair had been adequately groomed and tied up in its usual flat ponytail.

Upon seeing her, his coal dark eyes brightened with intrigue, unlike most of the other members whose eyes only gleamed with perverted thoughts of bedtime fun. This excludes Kakuzu of course, who always showed her the upmost respect when it came to bed business.

This respect shown to her by the Uchiha and the wiser of the zombie brothers was, as she assumed, based upon their morals and upbringings. Itachi's reasoning was probably the most likely to follow this idea, being that he was raised to be the clan head of the Uchiha. Kakuzu on the other hand was a bit harder to understand, leaving Konan to atone his respectfulness mainly to his advanced age.

Giving her a gentle smile, Itachi slid out of the way, allowing her to enter his quaint and, rather clean, room. She had been in this room countless times before and throughout the years it changed only slightly. His twin sized bed remained pushed to the corner of the room to her right, a dusted dresser and humble mirror directly across from it, and a clutter-less closet that contained only his Akatsuki robe, a few outfits, a neatly folded change of bed sheets, and his shoes. The only difference between present and past is that now Itachi left his ninja tools resting lazily atop the dresser along with a few books he had recently obtained.

Konan let her eyelashes give an elegant flutter as she gracefully walked into the room. She smiled to herself, thinking that Itachi was simply timeless. He was not a man to be bound by fashion or modern change.

"How are you feeling tonight?" the Uchiha asked in his smooth yet husky voice, eyeing her carefully as if he subconsciously noticed her change in emotional demeanor tonight.

Slowly turning her head to face him she gave an uncharacteristic smile and cooed "I'm fine Itachi. Don't worry about me."

Itachi merely stared at her. He knew that smile quite well, that smile that meant she would soon shed her strict and obedient skin and become another person. Although her eyes glistened in a way that they never had before, as if the immense sadness within her had made an escape and was now trying to find a way out of its prison, a prison known as her heart.

"If you say so." He replied as she seemed to float towards the center of the room, like an angel disguised as a human. It was one of Konan's many mysterious secrets, one that few people had the pleasure of knowing.

Itachi gazed upon her as she slowly patted down her silk cloak, trying to fix her imaginary flaws. He remembered the first time that the two of them had begun this dance of Tuesday night sex followed by silent emotional repair.

_Konan had been his superior for a few years by then and at the time; he was still quite young, having only reached sixteen years. He had suffered a bloody deep tissue wound just below his chest in-between his liver and spleen while on a solo mission. Luckily, despite it being a severe wound, it had avoided his internal organs and with the help of his Akatsuki robe, he had managed to keep himself from bleeding out._

_It was late at night by the time he had managed to return to the temporary hideout and began to treat his wounds. _

_Maybe it was fate or just coincidence, but that was when she appeared. _

_At first he was too occupied with the sting of the antiseptic that burned his open flesh to notice her appearance but she soon made herself known. _

_She eyed him slowly, as he cringed from the pain but let no sound escape him._

"_You're a rather tough one aren't you, even when no one is around." She remarked with a bored interest._

_Thinking with his instinct, he activated his sharingan and faced her defensively, ready to trigger his genjutsu at a moment's notice._

"_Deactivate those eyes. I have no intention to harm you." She whispered as she walked towards him and began to prepare his bandages. The Uchiha could only eye her knowing that she was Pein's partner and his most trusted of all the members. If she was sent to kill him then she would do so without objection or question. He held his caution, not sure if he should trust her. She had never proved to be a threat to him and he couldn't imagine why Pein would want someone as valuable as him dead. _

_His thoughts were quickly shoved aside when he saw an odd look in her eye. It was something he had seen before in his own eyes many times before and for reasons unknown to him, he trusted that sad, lifeless expression._

"_Lie down." Her statement was simple and he followed it. Never once did her lips move from their solemn expression as her delicate hands ran across his sculpted chest._

_She reminded him of an angel bathed in sorrow with clipped wings, who bore the chains of regret. _

"_Relax you're muscles, they're too tense." She whispered lowly as her arms weaved the gauze strip tightly around his abdomen. _

"_Why are you doing this?" He hissed at her as the gauze brushed roughly against his severed flesh. _

_She did not answer him, instead she carefully watched his lip twitch into a sinister snarl as she tightened and tucked the last gauze strip under the others. "There." She sighed, eyeing him in an odd fashion. _

_Itachi watched her with caution as she seemed to be running her eyes down his body like a hungry wolf to an injured deer._

"_Hard to believe that the boy who killed his clan is really nothing but a feral pup." Konan mocked, sitting down next to him in the small storage room. "Though," She paused catching his gaze "I suppose it means you just might live a little longer than most."_

"_What are you talking about?" The young Uchiha questioned darkly as he adjusted himself so he was sitting at eye level with her. _

"_You have a way about you. It's strange really, to be so wild and so young."_

"_I never guessed you to be as old as you talk." He remarked, still unsure of what this woman was after._

_She gave a low laugh and broke their eye contact. "You don't have to be so defensive right now. We are the only people here; all the others have left for missions."_

_Itachi maintained his untrusting composure and got to his feet. "Just what are you getting at? I don't have time to play games with you." _

_Letting out at nasally laugh, Konan stood and walked to the doorway where she threw her head back and with a grin whispered "A dove's sorrow gives love and hatred new regret that always makes it into wonderful and unprecedented passion." Her lips curled into a smile at her last word before she took her leave leaving the young Itachi alone once more._

_He would spend the rest of the night lying in bed pondering her words until the sound of his door creaking open brought him back to his surroundings. As light crept into the room a delicate shadow followed behind intimately until Konan had revealed herself before him._

_She remained silent for several minutes before she spoke, during this time Itachi made neither movement nor sound except for the low whisper of his breaths._

"_Do you agree with me?" _

_His eyes stared at her lazily and as if unamused until they blinked, a smirk following suit. His voice low and rather kind, he pulled back the covers, patted the spot beside him and whispered "Am I sorrow or regret?"_

Itachi could only watch her with sympathy. It had been five years since that night. Five years since she used her riddle-like sentence to gain his company. Five years since they had begun their subconscious and physical relationship. Five years since they began this cycle of silent rehabilitation. In those five years Itachi had never forgotten her little hidden message.

_Sorrow and regret makes wonderful passion._

And truthfully, she was right. Her sorrow and his regret gave them amazing sex.

"Itachi." Konan's voice chimed like bells into his ears, pulling his attention back to her moonlight grey eyes. He made no sound as he appeared at her side, delicately placing his hands to her hips and nuzzling his head against her like an affectionate cat.

She let out a slow sigh, content with Itachi's ways of affection. Who would have thought that an Uchiha could be such a compassionate and attentive lover? Certainly not her.

Ever since Yahiko's death, she had only slept with those that she believed he would not be too ashamed of her for being with. Those being her fellow members of Akatsuki. It started, oddly enough, with Kisame Hoshigaki, then Kakuzu followed by Itachi, and finally Deidara. As for the remaining members, she would never lower herself to lying with them.

Pein was not an option due to the fact that he was Yahiko's best friend and it would just be improper for her to be with him for that fact- even if it was done with one of his other bodies, especially Yahiko's.

Zetzu, she would never even think of it with him for multiple reasons, mainly because there were two of him and though she was practically the second in command when it came to the Akatsuki hierarchy, deep down both Zetzus made her nervous. She wasn't even sure if they were human or some insane science project gone wrong.

Hidan, as anyone with a brain can assume, was such a rude, obnoxious, crude and just plain disgusting pig that she would not even sully her origami flower by having it too close to him.

Tobi, needless to say was in a class all his own being both a childish and rather suspicious character that she wanted nothing to do with in that manner.

Finally Sasori, the last on the list, was probably not even capable of being anything other than a dildo at best. Though that reason was not what stopped her from pursuing a fling with him, but rather it was her preexisting relationship with the puppet master that did so. Of all the members he was the closest to her own age, other than Nagato, who despite the fact that he showed few emotions, had proven to be a very useful, wise, and confidant. In other words, he was the closest thing she had to a best friend these days, or at least this was so until he met his untimely end by the hands of an old woman and inexperienced kunoichi.

Now without a close confidant, Konan's life had become rather dull in almost every way. Nagato only seemed to grow colder and more foreign to her with every ounce of power he gained. At this she could have cried on the inside. How awful could it be for one to lose not only a lover to the frostbitten bones of death, but also, a friend to the lust of infinite omnipotence?

With the gentle caress of his hand against her cheek, Itachi seemed to speak to her on another level. Not one of friends, or of lovers, but perhaps that of two souls resting in a mutual existence of remorse.

Itachi was a man of few expressions; cold and lifeless. At least that is only true when the rest of the world still held him tightly in its grasp. Yet, on these Tuesday nights alone with only Konan, he wore a rather different and kinder face, one of caring, tenderness, and affection that only she knew of.

At least, this is what she could passively believe for Itachi had once told her that he had committed one of the most painful and unforgivable of sins, killing his own lover.

It may have been thanks to this emotional scar that Itachi's heart was so broken and sorrowful; at least this is what Konan believed. She knew of his past and all of its bitter chapters, but could do no more to help it as she too was to broken to help even herself.

As he held her cheek in his hand, Itachi gave her his mysterious and affectionate smile, as if asking her once more if she were really okay. To this she merely grabbed his hand that was pressed to delicately against her cheek and took the other one into her right hand, held them tightly, and leaned in planting a kiss on Itachi's cheek just slightly away from his lips.

With his question answered, Itachi tenderly took hold of her lips.

It was bittersweet really, having Itachi kiss her so closely to the way Yahiko once did. So softly, like she were a butterfly with delicate wings yet passionately like a hungry animal, only it lacked one thing to be just like her departed love, fear. It was which made his kisses so meaningful, the soul wrenching fear that he may one day lose her from his life.

She often wondered what bitter sorrow he must feel even now in knowing that this fear was realized. Such a thought was far too painful to consider, as even the idea of such could cause her to cringe. After all, the very thought was something no living creature should have to bare, for the loss of a brave, loyal, and compassionate sprit is a bitter sting to the world alone, but to the one who held said life at arm's length...the feeling is simply too upsetting to imagine.

With the gentle loss of her lips from his, a nearly unheard groan escaped Itachi's lips only to be followed by a light grin as her delicate fingers danced their way into his towel and released the folded knot from its captor.

A smirk growing upon her lips, she walked her fingers back up to his sculpted chest, giving him her devilishly attractive and rarely seen little temptress look.

Her eyes scanned the ceiling, memories dancing through her head like leaves in the subtle wind.

_It was in the ice-covered hell known as the middle of winter. Everything had frozen over long before and now there was no such thing as cold, for it had long been replaced with an inhuman burn. _

_Yahiko's efforts were paying off, two new members had recently joined the Akatsuki, all of them male. Their diminutive group was growing and it made her happier than she could have ever imagined, for she knew that Yahiko was ecstatic and crawling ever closer to his goal._

_After night had fallen, Konan could no longer hide her shivers, her body no longer obeyed her wishes- too her distaste. The newbie's decided to take this involuntary movement as an invitation to get close to her in hopes of a sexual encounter. Although luckily for her, Yahiko always managed to snuggle up to her just at the right moment, causing a crestfallen look to cultivate upon the newbie's faces and a tender smile to grow upon hers._

_It was moments like these that really made her heart flutter. Even on those cold nights when she spent lying in between Yahiko and Nagato to keep warm, he never neglected her. _

_With Nagato's back to hers and Yahiko's arms enveloped around her, no words ever needed to escape their lips; just being in each other's arms was enough. Their love was something precious to her, something she could never forget even in she lived for a thousand years and had more lovers than she could remember. Life was perfect in those days, even if her fingers were blue and numb, her hair matted, and her body living on little more than wild scraps. _

_Lying next to him, breathing in his scent, feeling his touch, it was heaven to her and she never wanted to let go._

Itachi rolled over beside her, wrapping an arm under her neck. She laid her head against him, at tear escaping her eye. She longed for those days but could only feel her already broken heart quiver as she knew that time could never turn back its hands.

Itachi said nothing; he only closed his eyes and stroked her cheek with his hand, for he too knew that the sun had already set for the both of them and all they had left were these nights of emotional repair and remorse.

_**~HORNYWOLF**_

_Note: I know in the anime Konan's eyes are kind of amber-orange but I prefer the manga, so I used the original manga coloring. (Same for Yahiko who looks so much better with blue eyes anyway.)_


End file.
